Make a Man Out of You Chapter 21 (Desna x Reader)

Make a Man Out of You

Chapter 21: Insecurities

You quietly made your way into the desert inn room in the middle of no where. Desna walked to the bathroom as if an invisible force was calling him, and turn on the sink. With a ball of water floating in his hand, he seemed to feel much better. "Are you thirsty?" He finally broke the silence.

"Yeah..." you admitted. The water floated towards you and glowed, then remained still. It looked so very clear, clearer than what you'd imagine the tap water from a place in the middle of nowhere to look. You drank it in mid air and felt refreshed.

Desna had some water as well, then took a moment to look you over, which made you shift selfconsciously. "I will heal you," he got more water and began to heal your sunburn. The desert sun was brutal and it didn't take long for it to affect you. The healing felt good and you closed your eyes, momentarily losing touch with reality. Then your eyes shot open when you felt Desna's hand on your back. "I cannot heal it," he admitted. "I tried before, but was unable to."

You bit your lip and tried to stay calm, indifferent. He tried before, what did that even mean? If he was the healer out of the twins, then was he the one who healed you when you first arrived at the North Pole? "You've seen it..." You concluded.

"Someone tried to kill you... a long time ago," Desna's words made little sense to you. There was the Black Lotus and Kalok, but those events didn't feel like they happened a long time ago.

"What do you mean?" You began to turn around, but Desna's hand on your back stopped you.

He reached under your shirt, lifting it to just under your chest and gently touched an area on the left, on the back of where your heart was. "Blades of ice, this one went in, the others lost control." He traced the two lines from your right shoulder down and diagonally from left to right across your mid to lower back. "I can tell it was ice because the drops of water were boiling when they melted."

You've seen your own back in a mirror before and you hated it. The cuts, the texture, the little spots of darker red all over the pale red. This wasn't a little scar, it was big and obvious and it made you uneasy. Combining that with your embarrassing fear of your own element didn't do wonders for your self esteem. You had two things that you wanted to hide, things that sooner or later would become known, especially in a relationship. One problem was physical and the other was not, so there was no escape, you didn't think you had true beauty, not outside and not inside. You were just an ugly coward.

"Does it hurt that much?" Desna's voice woke you from your thoughts.

"No..." You were surprised at how unsteady your voice came out. You didn't realize tears had already escaped you. "It doesn't hurt." You pulled your shirt down. "Aren't you totally grossed out?" You asked before you could stop yourself. You turned in Desna's direction, but looked only at your feet. "If not by my appearance, then you must be disgusted by my fear of fire, or both. I'm an ugly coward."

Suddenly, Desna hugged you, "neither is true."

You couldn't even find a way to describe how you felt. Relieved, happy and stubborn. Even if you were a commoner and he was a prince, you refused to let him go, there and then you decided that against all odds, you wouldn't let him go.

xoxox xox xoxox

You weren't sure for how long you stood there, hugging Desna in silence, but the two of you had eventually sat down close together and talked. "Then you do not remember?"

"Not really..." You replied unsure. 'I'm so sorry...' There it was again, that voice in your memories. It was a man, but who was he? Why was he apologizing to you? You felt bad for him, like he shouldn't be apologizing. He shouldn't be falling apart over you, he had to stay strong to protect everyone else. You had to let him know you were alright...

"Bits of this one memory sometimes come up and now that I think about it, it might be related. I was young and maybe I was kind of traumatized, so it's all faded..." You admitted. "I need to learn to be brave..."

"You already are," Desna held you close. He had one arm around your shoulder and held a floating ball of water in his other hand. "You even pursued the Black Lotus to the desert where I was unable to do anything. I apologize for my incompetence... I lost my composure being away from my element. Perhaps I am the one who still needs to overcome the past."

"Not at all," you immediately argued. "You were very helpful against the Black Lotus. I would have been killed without a second thought if not for you." You blushed, remembering what Valrick said about Desna. You assumed the Black Lotus overestimated the depth of his feelings, but Valrick too? "I'm sorry... I feel really bad about not seeing who you were, and... embarrassed too... I was upset that you didn't tell me, but I did worse by not noticing."

"Are you angry at me?" Desna inquired. You were getting used to reading even the slightest fluctuations of emotion in his voice, which others may not perceive so easily. He was worried about upsetting you.

"No, I'm not angry... Are you?" You asked, worried that he thought less of you for being so clueless.

"You tried your best to be kind to my sister, I am very grateful." Ironically, it seemed that the confusion had worked in your favor. The twins were very close, so Desna saw an act of kindness for his sister as also being an act of kindness for himself.

"That's good to hear," you rested your head on his shoulder. "Desna... What did you mean when you mentioned overcoming the past?" Desna was silent and for a moment you thought you pried too much. "I'm sorry, I want to know, but I don't want to bother you about it. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to..."

Fortunately Desna didn't seem upset at you, it was just an unpleasant memory. "I want to tell you," he finally decided. "Because I want you to tell me everything too. This is something that only my sister knows, and you..." He paused, unable to find how to explain it, until he finally settled for saying, "you have the right to know... If you are to be my girlfriend."

To be Continued